we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
