He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
