Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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