Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
