So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
