How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The air was thick with penises
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
