Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
