I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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