Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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