thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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