well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
