Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
