That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize