Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
