there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize