Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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