i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
