they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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