Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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