her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
