i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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