lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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