I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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