but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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