Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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