Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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