yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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