I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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