At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
