were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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