Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
