So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
