doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
