bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
