I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So much rum. So many feels.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
PANTIES FOUND
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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