Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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