good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
