Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
