roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
