Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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