Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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