her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
