i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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