He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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