so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
