I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
