Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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