Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
