He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
