ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
