don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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