We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
