If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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