Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
