My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
