I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
