I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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