He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
