i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
