So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize