we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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