I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
