do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
