so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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