He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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