Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
