I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize
