So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
