This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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