Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
