I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize