The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
