they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Come on in and take your pants off
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