I wish I could teleport
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
